With the longest preview period and most expensive tickets for a Broadway production in history, the bar is set very high for Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark. Written and directed by Julie Taymor, with music by Bono and the Edge, it would seem difficult for so much star power to go so astray. Yet, despite Bono’s musical renown, Taymor’s Lion King fame, and the clear appeal of a Spider-Man adaption, Turn Off the Dark seems like a train wreck of good ideas.

With a current runtime over three hours, this lengthy production left this audience member physically exhausted and mentally untouched. The disjointed plot has four Spidey-fans telling Peter Parker’s story from the start, beginning with background on the Greek god turned Spider: Arachne. The plot, however, is clearly not priority to Taymor, who puts far more emphasis on the vast set. Like an endless Disney ride, the extensive set pieces and flying actors successfully distract from most of the erratic story, but at times, especially during the musical numbers, when the audience is left with no material entertainment, it becomes clear how two-dimensional the characters are. Peter Parker’s usually complex comic book personality is simplified into a nerd who just happens to have superpowers, and Mary Jane seems intent only on being the perfect girlfriend. While the plot is true to the comic book, the characters’ have no life; it is almost as though Taymor didn’t want the actors to clash with the set. Bono’s lyrics don’t help either: most of the musical numbers deal with unadorned determination and love, strong emotions to sing of with such minimal character development. Unmemorable as they are, however, the music does fit with the all-out pandemonium of the play, and while they fail to deepen the plot or get caught in your head, they give the intensive choreography a flow and a life, making the otherwise spontaneous diving and constant movement seem to have a purpose.

The plot being what it is, looking around at the audience, nearly all tourists, it is clear that the set is the main focus for most. During the intermission the chatter was only positive, everyone impressed with the aerial performances and the large stage pieces. Most would probably acknowledge that no, the show was not intellectually, conceptually, or mentally entertaining, and that no, they didn’t care. And truly, the set is spectacular. From the enormous, single color comic book drawings of Spider-Man and the Green Goblin that slide out from the side of the stage to the massive Brooklyn Bridge that rises from the stage’s center, the sheer size of everything is perhaps the most memorable part of the entire production. The choreography too is impressive. Arachne’s scenes in particular, are stirring in size, ability of the dancers, use of the entire theater, and complete absurdity and irrelevance to the plot. One such scene is completely based on the idea that spiders cannot wear shoes and features a crew of eight legged dancers in stilettos, spinning away under Arachne, who is suspended far above the stage.

Despite critics’ bashings and the emphasis on Spider-Man’s many technical errors and injuries, it is hard to believe that anyone did not enjoy the show. The production is an explosion of comic book graphics, pulsing basslines, airborne actors, and above all, everything’s immense size. It is a new kind of Broadway, where the entertainment is not in the quality but the quantity. Without a moral, Spider-Man’s the sole purpose seems to be impressing the audience with its fantastic scenery. Like living a movie, Spider-Man makes up for its lack of charm with its ample glitz. Huge and meaningless, it will be a sad day when Broadway is defined by such plays as Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark.