Snow White in the remake of "Mirror, Mirror." Enough said.

“La Belle et la Bete” (1946) starts off with a Jean Cocteau’s message to the audience to leave their critical eyes at the front door and become children again: “Children,” Cocteau says, “believe what we [adults] tell them. They have complete faith in us…. They believe in thousands of simple things.” With this message in mind, I left “Mirror Mirror” with such disdain and dread for every child in that theater that was manipulated and abused by the adults who made the film simply to get money out of their parents during an economic downtime.

“Mirror Mirror”, directed by Tarsem Singh, follows a long trend of modern Hollywood remakes and reboots that update a classic tale and add twists to the original material to make it more “hip” or “modern.” “Shrek” is the film that made this trend popular, adding pop culture jokes and humor that only the adults would understand.

What the screenwriters of “Mirror Mirror” seem to believe is that children are the lowest common denominator when it comes to sophistication of films. They seemed to have written the film with the idea that children can only laugh at toilet humor. Thus the result is the humiliating scene in which Julia Roberts being doused with bird feces, bee stings, and a multitude of other Fear Factor stunts. The Seven Dwarves, with this sentiment, devolved from lovable archetypes to “funny” ones like Greedy, Vain, Horny, Musclehead, Obese and That Asian One. Kids love this kind of humor. “La Belle et la Bete’s” humor relies on human truths. The funniest parts occur with sibling squabbling over whatever menial thing. Not only does the movie allow for character development but is universal enough that more than half a century later, it is relevant. Even if the screenwriters did not watch this classic film, have they not learned from Pixar, a company that has proved time and time again that children do not need to be pandered to and can handle a story heavy film that can be enjoyable for the adults as well?

Let’s go back to “La Belle et la Bete”, a 1946 update of the classic French fairy tale that has gone down in history as one of the best films ever made. Despite Cocteau’s opening message, he does not play dumb for the children. Instead he gives them a truly magical world that is both horrifying and enchanting at the same time. Tarsem Singh’s vision has continually looked like nothing more than visual diarrhea. Cocteau’s world does not rely on special effects but practical and timeless effects using real hands holding candelabra and real people as the statue. “Mirror Mirror” relies on technology and CGI. Soon, it will look primitive like the films of yore that have relied on CGI, an ever developing technology. And like the jokes in “Mirror Mirror,” the CGI will ultimately not stand the test of time.

And why else do I look at “Mirror Mirror” with such hatred? It was made for about $100 million as The Los Angeles Times reports. I can think of a 100 million things that money could be used for other than this obnoxious film. Thank goodness so far that it has not made much money so studios can learn a lesson or two.